Al Shares Things: 2013

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Worst Music Video Ever

It’s worse than Friday, Yoko Ono’s Orgasm video, and Rosanne Bar’s rendition of the Star Spangled Banner with a little of the Thanksgiving song thrown in for good sport combined.

Torture. That’s the only way I can describe the song that nearly made me take a sharpened spoon to my ears. It’s going to sound terrible of me but that woman is singing in English, I think, the entire time. It took me a couple of seconds to register the words.

It’s like listening to the really drunk ~~gold digger~~ girl at the Karaoke bar that no one has the heart to take the mic away from. In the video, “Nicky” is horrendously off-key and that’s putting it lightly. The most I can make out of the song is that:
1.) She is not a bitch but wants to be rich.
2.) She’s cute and clever forever and ever
3.) Has big tits and likes politics (the urge to vomit because the rhyme exists? 10/10)
4.) She doesn’t want to work, she wants to eat pork
5.) She gives out the lengthiest phone number (that I wonder if it’s real or not)
It honestly reminded me of the replacement 999 number from The IT Crowd.

Remember the new number!
Nation,
If your brain still functioned after viewing that monstrosity, tell us what you thought of it in the comments below!
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Appreciating nature

This isn't a glitch in the image, that's what the cabinet looks like.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Automatic Link brings your car’s on-board diagnostics to the iPhone, available for pre-order now

This is a really cool idea. -Al

Automatic Link brings your car’s on-board diagnostics to the iPhone, available for pre-order now:

Automatic Link is a new hardware dongle for your car that is launching today and will allow you to monitor on-board diagnostics directly on your iPhone. On top of monitoring on-board diagnostics, such as braking, speeding, and rapid acceleration by connecting the Automatic Link to your car’s data port, the app will also include a feature that automatically reports crashes, the ability to locate your vehicle, check engine health, and provide “subtle audio cues when you do things that waste gas.”

The Automatic Link talks to your car’s onboard computer and uses your smartphone’s GPS and data plan to upgrade your car’s capabilities. It works with just about any car sold in the United States since 1996…The Automatic Link includes a built-in accelerometer that can detect many types of crashes. Automatic uses your phone’s data connection to immediately report the crash to 911* with your name, location, and vehicle description.

The Automatic Link is now available for pre-order from the company’s website for $70, with shipments and the companion app expected to land sometime in May. You can also check the make and model of your vehicle on the pre-order page to find out if your car is compatible.

Your Drive Score: Automatic gives you personalized feedback on your driving with your weekly drive score on a scale from 0-100. The drive score is based on metrics shown to increase fuel efficiency and safety, like braking and accelerating smoothly. A high score could save you hundreds on gas every year.
Your Trips in a Timeline: The Automatic app displays detailed information about where you go and how much gas it cost to get there. It shows you the actual MPGs you achieve for all your trips, even for older cars that don’t display fuel efficiency on the dashboard.
Parking Reminders: Automatic always knows where you parked your car, helping you find it again easily.
Crash Alert: If you’re ever in a crash, Automatic alerts emergency services with your location. It can even contact your loved ones to let them know what happened and that help is on the way.
Keep Your Engine Healthy: Automatic connects with your car’s computer whenever you drive and can tell you why that “check engine” light came on. It can decode the problem and in many cases offer a solution. The app even lets you clear the light yourself and save a trip to the mechanic.